This is your body on Clomid

About two weeks after taking Clomid – your midcycle, about the time you ovulate – your body starts rebelling against you in cruel and unusual ways.  My symptoms have ranged from bloating to cravings to painful intercourse, and the severity lessens the more cycles you do.  I have done 4 cycles of 50mg clomiphene citrate, and I am on the 3rd cycle of 100 mg.  (Apparently my body didn’t really ovulate during the 50mg cycles, according to my OB/GYN, though given the bloating and pain I experienced you could have fooled me!).  During my very first cycle, I thought I was having kidney stones I had so much pain in my lower abdomen.  I could barely sit down, stand, or move.  Going to the bathroom was extremely painful.  And it wasn’t gastrointestinal pain – it was far deeper than that.  It was awful, and it makes you not want to move for days.  The pain disappears in about a week, and with every cycle it isn’t quite so bad as your body gets used to it.  But still, it’s enough to make me wonder how much more patience I can have in being uncomfortable in my own body.

My abdomen becomes very bloated from mid-cycle through the onset of menstruation.  My pants don’t fit as they usually do, and I look like I’ve gain about 10-15 pounds in my midsection, though I may not be eating anything more.  I try to do yoga as much as possible during this time, since I’ve read that vigorous exercise could twist your tubes and disrupt your ovaries in this state.  But it isn’t enough to make me feel like my normal, skinny self again.  In fact, I won’t feel normal and fit into my skinny clothes again until the onset of menstruation.

In short, I go through two weeks of bloating, a few days of extreme abdominal/pelvic discomfort and in some cases pain, topped off with two weeks of self-loathing.  And lately, after over half a year of this emotional and physical roller coaster, the two-week wait is a pessimist and uncomfortable march to the inevitable.  I try to be positive – I exercise, I meditate, I pray – but somewhere deep inside I’m not convinced this month is the month.  Not since I got overly excited a year ago and bought the onesies have I had true, honest, authentic, and trusting hope.

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2 thoughts on “This is your body on Clomid

    • Thanks, Lauren! My PA at the clinic had some interesting opinions about clomid – the next post is all about it. Treat yourself well and I will send lots of baby dust your way!

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