How many baby showers is too many?

I got an invitation today for my cousin’s baby shower next month.  She’s due with a girl in July.  I’m not sure if I should accept this invitation or not.  Maybe you might have some advice for me.

Here are my hesitations:

1. This is not my cousin’s first child. In fact, it’s her third child. She already has a boy and a girl; the girl is just turning one year old. What else could she possibly need at this point? My only thought is that when she recently moved back home from where she had been living several hundred miles away she got rid of all of her baby items… leading me to my next hesitation.

2. This was an unplanned pregnancy.  When I was told about it from my grandmother, there was the insinuation that my cousin didn’t want another child and this was a big “oopsie.”  Is it really necessary to have another shower for her?  I can understand if she had gotten rid of all the baby items in her move, but she couldn’t have gotten rid of that many items – not when you move with a newborn… of the same gender.

3. Having just gotten over my own (second) miscarriage, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle watching a woman with two children welcome her third in a joyous, well-planned, perfect party that should have been mine – along with the rest of my cousins and their babies, and their friends with babies…

So what should I do?  Dear Abby would say not to go if you don’t support the idea and if you would feel uncomfortable.  Emily Post would probably send a gift.  I don’t want to not support family.  But another baby shower – for your third child – that you’ve registered for.  Really?